


Sleep Walking Past Hope

by CayleeJune



Category: HIM (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:08:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22796815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CayleeJune/pseuds/CayleeJune
Summary: Saraya Rain Wolf is best friends with YouTube stars Jukka Hilden (Of The Dudesons) and his girlfriend Chachi Gonzalez. Saraya runs a travel based YouTube channel called "Saraya's Escapades". What happens when her favorite couple invite her along to a trip to Finland and she meets Finnish rock star Ville Valo?
Relationships: Ville Valo/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

“Sarayaaaaaa!!” Chachi ran up to me screaming, it’s only been less than 3 days since I saw her last when I came over to help Jukka film his latest video. I met Chachi shortly after starting to work with Jukka. Jukka Hilden is a well-known youtuber, his fame started in Finland, (where he is from) when he created “The Dudesons”. The Finnish television series could be compared to the American Jackass crew with Johnny Knoxville and Bam Margera, who he has also worked with in the past. He moved to Los Angeles about two years ago to start up his American fan base. We met through mutual connections in the youtube community. Ever since we would feature in each other’s videos. We would invite each other to our trips as my channel was about traveling and adventures and when I’d travel he’d join to keep me company and have new places to film his anarchy. He was one of my best friends.

About a year ago he met Chachi, another youtuber who is also a professional dancer. They quickly became a couple as both of their filled with life and outgoing personalities complimented each other beautifully. I loved her immensely. She was perfect for him and they brought out the best in each other. They were what you would call relationship goals. I inspired to one day get a taste of the connection they shared.

“Hey crazy, you act like we won’t be stuck on a plane together for the next 13 hours.” I teased. She was always so hyper.

“I’m just excited! I get to go to Finland and finally see Jukka’s other life and you're coming with us! It couldn’t get better” She laughed. Joy and laughter just came pouring out of this girl.

“She’s not the best to travel with babe, she gets grumpy from jetlag and I have to call the “waa-balance” Jukka teased. Jukka always made sure to make fun of my matter of fact personality. He always pointed out that I was his only friend who didn’t belong in a crazy house. I just rolled my eyes in response.

Part of the Dudeson crew, Paul came in and offered to take in my bags. I couldn’t help but notice that in the short 3 days that I haven't seen him that half of his shoulder-length hair has been shaved off.

“What happened to your hair?” I asked stifling a laugh.

“Paul here lost a round of haircut roulette.” Jukka filled in.

“Hmmm I see, it’s a good look” I winked. Paul and I have always had a flirty relationship from the day we met. I loved his sense of humor, and he was certainly attractive. We never made any hard passes at one another because we both understood that it was just an innocent flirty relationship but I often get questioned by Chachi on why I didn’t want to take it further. I would complain to her that I didn’t have the time for a relationship, that I was too busy. While this wasn’t wrong, I knew deep down that it was because I was scared. Too scared to put my all into someone again. Last time, it nearly ended up killing me.  
“Raya’ sleep with me tonight, you know you don’t like the guest bedroom.”

“Damn Jukka, letting the girls kick you out your own bed?” Paul laughed.

“Nope, they sleep with me. The bed is big enough. Although Chachi gives all the cuddles to Saraya” He rolled his eyes and Paul wiggled his eyebrows surprised at the news that the 3 of us sleep together. It was a regular occurrence when I stayed the night. Jukka has been nothing but a great friend and gentleman and I trusted him with my life. I considered him family. Chachi was no different.

“I can’t believe we have to get up at 3 am to make our flight.” I groaned dragging my bags by the stairs so they would be easily accessible in the morning and I already had an outfit picked out separately for tomorrow.

“You girls will love Finland. I’m excited to take you.” Jukka grinned. He was so proud of his heritage. I’ve heard nothing but great things about the country and I loved cold places and traveling so I was stoked despite the early wake-up time. It would all be worth it.


	2. Chapter 2

“Ughh it’s so fucking early” I groaned. It was 3:15 am and I was forced awake by the sound of Jukka’s alarm blaring the absolute most irritating noise you can fathom.

“Time to wake up my sweets” Jukka laughed as he reacted to my annoyance and Chachi’s determination to stay under the covers. “We have to make it to the airport on time, you girls can sleep on the plane”.

“I don’t understand how you’re always so fucking positive.” I rolled out of bed while simultaneously throwing a pillow at his head.

He just goofily grinned back at me. “It’s positive anarchy, my dear”.

“Hmph” I trudged to the bathroom to take a hot shower. Nothing helped me get ready for a day better than a steaming stream of water. In fact, I loved anything having to do with water. I would take incredibly long showers. But I couldn’t do that this morning. We didn’t have the time.

I undressed and looked in the full-length mirror and admired my body some. It’s been a while since I could look at myself unclothed and appreciate what I saw. I was in such a mentally abusive relationship with my ex that I was conditioned to think I was worthless. That no one would want me or like my body. This all changed when I started my Youtube channel and left Kevin. I needed a change and I decided to make a move for myself. I quit my job, used the last of my savings and traveled. I documented all of it and made vlogs to put up on youtube. My channel blew up and later became “Saraya’s Escapades”. I had just under a million subscribers and they helped me fund my new lifestyle. Not to mention, becoming a professional blogger is what introduced me to Jukka, and later Chachi. I couldn’t have grown into the strong woman I am today without them. The difference that people can make when they care about a person, and support them is incredible. I couldn’t have transformed for the better without them.

I sighed with content and jumped in the large walk-in shower and let the imitated rainfall soothe my tired muscles. I specifically loved taking showers at their house. Chachi was a beauty guru and all my favorite brands would send her hundreds of products to promote so her shower and bathroom were FILLED with everything I would need and more to walk out smelling and looking as good as possible.

I used her lush shampoo, and body wash and smiled as the steam became gardenia scented. I shaved my tan legs, and bikini areas before stepping out. I decided to let my long icy blonde  
hair air dry as I’ve been trying to move away from styling tools to prevent any further damage.

I decided to forgo any makeup today since it would be spent traveling. Content with how I looked, I got dressed in my Jeffree Star Unicorn Blood Hoodie and plain black leggings and left the bathroom, immediately being greeted by a now fully awake Chachi.

“Yasss hunny, you look like a SNACK!”

I did a little turn to show off and laughed. “Chachi, if I’m a snack it’s because of all your goodies inside that bathroom”

“I bet you taste like a snack too.” Walked in Paul, giving me his signature wink.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I retorted.

“Come on lovebirds, we need to get a move on” Jukka appeared in the living room dragging the last of his and Chachi’s suitcases. “Paul, you remember what I told you about watching the house?”

“Yes, Jukka. I have everything I need.” He nodded.

“Then let’s go!” Jukka was the first one out the door, Paul and Chachi following behind and me at the back. I was excited. I haven’t been to Finland yet. I haven’t gotten the chance to visit any of Scandinavia yet. Which is funny considering Jukka goes at least 3 times a year. I make nearly every one of his trips but for some reason or another, I always had something come up when he headed home.

Paul got in the driver’s seat of Jukka’s range rover to shuttle us to the airport. I sat up front with him so Jukka and Chachi can sit together in the back. I laughed as I heard Jukka trying to teach Chachi some last minute Finnish. Chachi has been taking classes and trying really hard to pick up the language and she was actually doing really good. I tried to listen in more when Paul interrupted my concentration.

“Don’t go getting swept up by a foreign man now.”

“What makes you think I would?”

“Well they would be stupid to not be interested, you might give in to their international charms since my American ones clearly don’t work.” He joked, but I could almost hear an edge of disappointment in his words.

I just laughed and didn't respond. Paul found it sufficient enough as he smiled and focused back on the road as we approached LAX airport and it’s craziness.

“Departing Gate for Norweigin Air” Jukka stated as we approached our gate.

We parked, and Paul and Jukka unloaded all of our bags. Paul hugged us goodbye, kissed my cheek, and wished us safe travels. He returned to the car and pulled out leaving the 3 of us to get situated and checked in.

“Let’s just follow Jukka, he’s done this enough times” Chachi suggested and I nodded.

Let the adventure begin.


	3. Chapter 3

“We’re here!!” One long flight later, and we finally landed. It was my time to be excited. While Chachi and Jukka spent the beginning of the flight filled with good nerves and jitters, I was sleeping and now well rested.

I couldn’t have been happier. I was finally visiting Finland and with my two best friends. It meant everything to me. These memories would be so special.

“Jarppi will be picking us up outside once we get our bags.” Jukka yawned.

“Yes! I haven’t seen him since he visited last. I miss him.” Jarppi was Jukka’s childhood best friend, along with him, HP, and Jarno they made up the Dudesons. They all went to school together in Seinäjoki, Finland where they grew up together. Jarppi and the rest of the crew would make frequent visits to Los Angeles to visit Jukka. I met him a couple of times prior today and he was a complete gentleman. Not to mention, funny. Jukka was a wildman by himself but when he was around his best friends it was tenfold.

We followed the signs through the small airport and made our way to the baggage carousel to collect our language. Chachi clung on to Jukka and shuffled along as he leads us outside to the car park. The moment he spotted Jarppi, he ran off to meet him and Chachi rolled her eyes.

“It’s like their instant teenagers every time they reunite.” She complained, but I noticed the admiration in her eyes for her boyfriend. She loved Jukka so much.

“Ladies! It’s nice seeing you two again!” Jarppi hugged us both. “Ready for your first Finnish adventure?”

“Joo!” Chachi yelled, which over time I learned is “Yes!” in Finnish.

“Well, tonight our friends are playing a rock show at a local club called Tavastia. So we’ll get you all settled in a hotel so you can be energetic for HIM”

_________________________________________________________________________

“It’s 8 PM, and I still can’t figure out what to wear.”

“Does it matter? You’ll look good in anything” Chachi said while smacking my butt.

“Easy for the professional dancer to say” She had the perfect body. She was petite, with a flat toned stomach, a bubble butt, and cute boobs. She was beautiful.

Chachi sighed and gave me a look I knew all too well. She was there for the ending of my relationship, she knew me at my worst. “Saraya, please, your so gorgeous. I wish you saw what the rest of us sees.”  
“You mean you”

“No, I mean all of us. I know you're beautiful, all the boys at home pine for you. Are you oblivious? Why do you think Paul flirts with you so much?”

“Paul is Paul. He’ll flirt with anyone.”

“Think about it, you don’t see Paul around anyone else. I do. He only flirts with YOU. You’re just not interested in him.”

“I’m not interested in anyone.”

“Saraya, I know you may not be ready, but I’d hate to see your dream guy come along and you miss out on it because you're not interested.”

“You’re thinking into it too much”. I rolled my eyes.

“Here, wear this.” Chachi gave up as she threw a small black dress at me.

I got dressed in the mid-thigh length dress. It was fitted to my curves and was made out of stretchy but soft cotton material. I was concerned about how Chilly it was outside was so I paired it with some knee highs and combat boots. My hair was straightened and I did my makeup with a bold red lip and dark cat eye. I was ready as ready could be. For some reason, my confidence was not here at all tonight.

Just on time, Jukka came into the room. “Cab is here!”


	4. Chapter 4

We entered the club as a pretty large group. It was Jukka, Chachi, Jarppi, Jarno, HP, and I. It was dark inside, and playing “Killing Lights” by AFI. I immediately liked the atmosphere. A cocktail waitress recognized the men in our group immediately and sat us at a table in the VIP section. In America, Jukka and Chachi would get recognized every so often, including me sometimes but the Jukka and the rest of the Dudesons had one hell of a following here in Finland. All day, throughout the airport, hotel, and now this club we were receiving curious stares.

“Mitä juomia voin aloittaa?” The beautiful blonde haired and blue eyed waitress asked us. I didn’t understand her but she must have asked about our drink order as the table started rattling off their liquors of choice.

She turned to me, and I froze. “Um, I’ll take a vodka cranberry.”

“Sure, I’ll be right back with your rounds.” She nodded and smiled. Thank goodness for her understanding and speaking English. It seemed most people in Finland did actually, although I was expecting it at the hotel considering the staff work in hospitality.

“When are Jussi and Jyrki arriving?” HP asked.

“Should be here any moment now.” Jukka answered. I was excited to be meeting some of the boys from The 69 Eyes. I’ve always heard so much about them from Jukka but haven’t gotten the chance to meet them as of yet. They hadn’t seemed to travel to the US as much as the others have. Just as I finished my thoughts, an older man with jet black hair spiked in every direction jumped over the back of the couch I was sitting on scaring me half to death.

“The Helsinki Vampires have arrived” He bosted in one of the strongest accents I heard yet. The group laughed and the men immediately exchanged hugs.

He reached me and smirked. “Wow, I wish Jukka would have told me he was bringing such a stunning woman here tonight.” He stuck his hand out and I took it, he shook it and pulled me in close to give me a hug and kiss on the cheek.

“Nice to meet you.” I smiled sweetly. If this was anyone else I would have been slightly creeped out but I’ve heard many stories of Jussi and his antics. This was half expected.

“The pleasure is mine, my dear, I’m Jussi and this is Jyrkie.” He introduced while still keeping an arm around me and bringing me to the other addition to our now rowdy group.

45 minutes or so have passed and everyone was now on their third round of drinks and the show hasn’t even started yet. I was thoroughly enjoying myself, I was tipsy and didn’t have a care in the world. The brief moment of insecurities I was feeling earlier in the night dissipated and was now replaced with flirty confidence. The magic of what a few drinks and a complimenting rock star could do.

“Your gonna love the show Raya, HIM is definitely your style of music!” Jukka shouted at me from the other side of our large table.

“Oh, you aren’t familiar with HIM?” Jyrki said surprised. I just shook my head no.

“Is Ville joining us later?” Jussi asked the group.

“Yeah after the show he’ll join us!” Jarno answered.

“Who is Ville?” I asked bewildered. I never heard them mention his name before now, and I thought I knew all about Jukka’s friends from the hundreds of stories I’ve been told over the last few years.

“HIM’s frontman, he is a good friend of ours!” Jussi answered.

“I haven’t seen him in years, it’ll be good to reunite” Jukka smiled.

A few minutes passed and the lights dimmed in the club and everyone screamed with excitement. The show was about to start. I could see the shadows of the band members join the stage and the club seemed to roar. I got goosebumps from the sound. HIM was clearly a loved band here in Helsinki. The beginning of drums began to sound and the strobe light focused on the singer. I felt the breath hitch in my throat.

“So this is Ville.” I whispered.


	5. Chapter 5

The show ended and Saraya was lost for words. HIM was absolutely the type of music she was into and she loved every minute of that performance. She couldn’t count the times that she got goosebumps. Ville had a magical voice, and she found him beautiful. She quickly developed a bit of a fangirl crush on him and she was nervous to be meeting the man.

“Sooo, how’d you like it Raya?” Chachi asked excitedly.

“That was amazing. I'm officially a fan. Thank you guys for taking me!” Everyone cheered at my excitement. Jukka and the 69 Eyes got up letting us know they were gonna go meet the band backstage and meet us back out at our table.

I felt nervous immediately.

“Chachi I need more drinks.”

“Let’s go!” Chachi laughed grabbing my hand and dragging me towards the bar. Together we ordered shots for the whole table including Ville who we were expecting to join us soon. I also ordered another Vodka cranberry double. I needed liquid courage.

It was quite a wait at the bar due to all the concert goers getting last minute drinks before they filled out of the club for the night. By the time Chachi and I returned to the table with our drinks and the promises of shots on the way, the boys were already back with Ville and a man I recognized from the stage at our table. Ville was sitting right next to Jussi where I was sitting previously. Of course, that would be the only spot as the other one was clearly for Chachi located next to Jukka.

“Hey guys, I have a waitress bringing shots shortly” I smiled, gently sitting down next to the singer.

“Kittos” he smiled. I smiled back and extended my hand out to shake his own, but he grabbed it and kissed the top of my hand instead.

“My name is Ville” He stated.

I nodded and smiled. “Saraya.”

“So I’ve been told! I’ve heard a lot about you two. Haven’t seen Jukka in years and all he talks about is his girl and their best friend. Must be pretty special.”

I felt the heat in my cheeks immediately. I reached for my glass and took a big gulp. I was not drunk enough. Just as I set my glass back down, the waitress arrived with our shots.

“Thank goodness” I mumbled under my breath but Ville must have heard me because I caught him smirking at my remark. I glanced at him and he winked.

It’s going to be a long night.


	6. Chapter 6

It was now 2 AM and the group showed no signs of slowing down. The night has consisted of everyone telling Chachi and I old stories from before we knew Jukka and the boys. My cheeks were burning from the countless laughs. My favorite one being a story of when the Dudesons went with Bam Margera and his crew to visit Lapland to “kidnap Santa”. 

I was now very drunk. I’m 3 cranberry vodkas deep and lost count of how many shots I’ve had. In fact, all of us aside from Ville were smashed. 

“How come you aren’t drinking, Ville?” I asked genuinely curious. 

“I don’t drink love” He answered with a small smirk while setting down his diet coke. 

“Hmm” I leaned back with a confused look and faced him. “You know, I don’t normally drink this much but I’m celebrating.” I said proudly with a slight slur. 

“What are you celebrating?” 

“Being here with my best friends!”

“You know, they’re very lucky to be here with you too.” He smiled. “In fact, I’m considering tonight a celebration as well.” He continued. 

“You should, you put on an amazing show.” I complimented, as buzzed as I am, I still couldn’t get his voice and performance out of my head. 

“Oh no kulta, not because of the show. I met you tonight.” He winked and clinked his glass against my own. I Immediately felt my cheeks heat up and I couldn’t help but let a giggle escape. 

“Saraya!”

I turned towards the voice calling for me and turned to see Jussi starting at me intently. I smiled at him politely. 

“So, what do you want do to while here in Finland? I heard you’re quite the traveler.” 

“I’m really excited to be here, actually. Jukka and I have been talking about me joining him forever. I’d really like to visit Lapland before we leave. It’s beautiful and I dream of petting the reindeers!”

“Jarno has a cabin up in Rovaniemi, why don’t we all plan a weekend up there?” Jarppi suggested. The group all agreed unanimously. 

“It’s settled then, we’ll bring little miss sunshine up to the arctic circle” Jukka laughed. I grinned and shoulder bumped him showing my gratitude. 

The night soon came to a close and we started our goodbyes. I hugged everyone; tonight, had been the most fun I had in a while. It felt good to be able to let loose and just enjoy the night and its company. I said goodbye to Ville last and shifted nervously, I can tell he noticed because he looked down at my shoes and chuckled.   
“Goodnight Saraya. I look forward to seeing you again.” He smiled hugging me.

“Me too. It was a pleasure meeting you.” I said pulling away from our painfully short embrace

“The pleasure was all mine.” 

I felt the color of my cheeks darken again for what felt like the hundredth time tonight and walked towards Chachi and Jukka. I caught up them and linked arms with the happy couple and caught Chachi wiggling her eyebrows at me. 

“Shut upppp.”

“You know, I always thought you would find your perfect someone soon, but I really did not think it would be Ville Valo.” She gloated. 

“What are you even talking about Chachi? He is not my perfect someone.” I said using air quotations for her use of the words “perfect someone”. We had some shameless flirting and she caught on to it. So what? Doesn’t mean he’s my soulmate. 

“Raya!! Give it up already, you like him!”

“I just met him Chachi, he’s nice, we flirted. Doesn’t mean we’re in love.”

“I just want to see you happy.”

“I am happy. Tonight, was great, I had fun and I’m happy we’re all on this trip together, I’m happy Jukka is visiting home and his friends and that we get to be a part of it.” 

“Come on babe, leave her alone. If it’s supposed to be more, it will be.”

“I doubt Ville even likes me and you guys are already talking about what could be.”

“He likes you.” They both said in unison. 

I looked up at them from the back seat shocked. Jukka met my eyes in the rearview mirror and sighed. 

“Listen, I’ve known Ville for a long time. He’s reserved. He doesn’t flirt with girls just to flirt. I’m betraying Paul by saying this, but Chachi is right. Your blind when it comes to people showing you, they like you.”

“Paul likes me?”

“Yeah the kid is infatuated. He doesn’t shut up about you.”

“This is wild. I thought he just flirted with any girl that has a vagina.” The rest of the car ride was silent, I watched out the window as we drove down the dark Helsinki lights to the hotel. I was still agitated by the conversation but maybe they’re right.


End file.
